Approaching Pearse Street

"I can't believe you go for lunch with a bird every day. It's just wrong."

I wasn't in the best of form today, cranky to a fault, ratty for no good reason. I wanted to quietly sneak off for an hour by myself but a couple of the lads were leaving at the same time. We went to O'Neills on Pearse Street for a carvery.

On our way there the subject of my usual lunchtime routine came up. More often than not I go with a female colleague, a close friend of mine outside of work who is in a different department, for an hour out of the office. Today she had a meeting and couldn't make it.

One of the boys sprang the quoted sentence to me and I snapped. I was very pissed off because I found the comment ignorant at best, misogynistic at worst.

I told him to explain himself.

"I just don't get lads being friends with birds. Never understood it. I mean, what could you possibly get from it?"

"I'm sorry??"

"Each to their own but I'm right on this."

I let it drop because I knew if I got into a heated debate with him, I'd say something I regretted. It was a very disappointing thing to hear from somebody I usually respect, not least his contemptuous use of the word 'bird.'

I love the company of women. I have many female friends, some close, some not so close, but I hold them dear and I regularly seek their advice on all sorts of things - not just subjects romantic, mundanities too. They look to me for the male point of view. Give and take.

Put me in the company of a large group of men and I retreat into myself. Not all of the time, but often. I can talk football and drink pints and talk about matters faecal with the best of them but it gets old very quickly for me. It's probably why I don't enjoy stag parties. The larger the group, the quicker things fall to stereotype. By the same thinking, I'd be unwilling to go drinking with a large group of women only. That would bore me.

I used to get slagged in work.

"He'll only come out to the pub if there are birds involved."

I heard that one a lot. Once or twice I tried explaining that I preferred a mixture because the conversation would be more varied and interesting, only to be told, "fuck off! You just want your hole!" Then I'd remember: never argue with fools or drunks.

I read recently that we've moved into an era where men and women have a far greater kinship with one another, that a man can be seen having a drink in female company without the assumption that he's trying to shag them, or that he's gay, or that he actually is in a relationship with one of them.

I think that's bullshit. I think an awful lot of men carry the same thoughts as my colleague, that a night out spent with anyone but 'the lads' is a great night wasted. I find that pathetic.